hey bud,
i dont usually write on this thing to often but i guess things have been getting to me more as of late..i think for a while i was so numb to your passing that the reality of it never set it...but the more im around the house and see all your pictures and see how bad mom is hurting and begin to really understand how hard it must be for her to hear the bikes and stuff and see other kids do things you should be doing it really makes me sad and even thought i can appreciate her pain i can never really fully understand how much it hurts as a mother....and sometimes i get angry with myself that i didnt appreciate you or the love you had for me at times and sometimes i even get sick to my stomach when i really think about what a special person i had in my life...theres an old saying you dont know what you got till its gone and in someways i cant help but feel that statement is directed twoards me....and although we had alot of great times and talks i cant help but be selfish and think i got ripped of by life becasue i can never get those times that i didnt fully value our brotherhood back... I think the older i get and the more mature i get the more that really hurts because im really statrting to vaule people and the relationships i have with them i dont know if its the whole dr. thing and wanting to help people or just loseing you that made me realize that you have to appreciate everyone and everything b/c you dont know when something will be takin from you..for that i thank you...in someways im happy that you are where you are because this life is brutal and often filled with more sadness then happiness..but other times im heartbroken because i miss you soooooooo much and it kills me to see mom in so much pain...and i wish i could fill that void in her heart but i cant and would never really want to you two had a special bond together and not a thing or anyone can change that...someone told me today that i am a good person and will make a good dr. because i have 4 great qualities that are impotant in being a good person she said im genuine,careing,funny and loyal in my opinion i may not be those things all the time and i may or may not have had those qualities all along but i know that i wouldnt have tried to be those things on a daily basis with out having you in my life and for that i thank you so much...im getting to teary eyed writeing this that i can barely see so i think its time to stop...but not a day goes by i dont think of you or miss you like crazy and i promise you i will be succesful no matter what it takes and help other people even though i couldnt help you and i will do my best to help mom through this ...we love and miss you sooooo very much...watch over us and guide us be a guardian angel...saxon and shane brothers forever buddy
love YOUR brother
SHANE
I ever got in regards to my music was to have my song placed on this website.
Saxon--although I didn't know you, I know we'll meet soon enough in heaven. This site is very touching and obviously you were very loved during your short stay on this impermanent planet of ours.
To Saxon's parents--I can only imagine the pain you must feel. I pray that God gives you strength to carry on. For what it's worth I feel humbled and blessed to be a part of your son's memorial site. I never sold many records or had a big hit but that just doesn't seem to matter much in light of what's really important. Thanks for reminding me of what's really important on this earth. I'll be praying for you. Til we meet...
Fred Haring
To Saxon's Mom, family and friends,
I wish from the depths of my heart and soul that none of us would ever experience the death of a child. In retrospect, as we have now witnessed, experienced and suffered, we know all too well that death can and does happen in so many painful ways.
I am a Respiratory Care Practitioner and am employed as an Outreach Coordinator for a Hospice Agency. My passion is hospice and feel so blessed to have th opportunity to teach and encourage those who are in such devastating need. When a child dies, I always question why this happened to someone with so much life ahead of them. I know that life and death are simply the flip side of the same coin, but when the coin flips in a direction that leads to the death of your child, we all feel such a tremendous void.
Saxon's face and smile literally brought me to tears. When I read his mother's words.."Mom, please don't let me die," I wondered how I would have responded had our son been able to communicate. How painful that must have been. I pray that the past twelve months have treated you with compassion, love and more prayers that you ever dreamed possible.
Our son was 18 years old when he was involved in a tragic autombile accident on July 12th, 2005. He suffered blunt force trauma to his head, underwent a craniotomy, was maintained on a ventilator for four days, and was pronouned at 11:00AM on July 16th, 2005. It has been almost 3 years since we saw his handsome smile and his beautiful big, brown eyes. We miss him and love him from the depths of our souls, but have learned to move forward with this new and forever changed life. Ond day, he will hug me again and I'll truly understand the reason for this loss. For now, I pray for all who have suffered through such a traumatic time in their lives.
Please visit Andrews site when you can. http://andrew-collins.last-memories.com
Hugs and prayers,
Debi
Dear Saxon's mom, I was friends with Saxon at Evans City, but I moved across the state the summer after sixth grade. Not a day passes that I don't think about him and his smiling face. He always knew how to cheer me up and start my day off with a joke and a laugh. I want to thank you for raising a wonderful, positive, cheerful boy who was always caring of other people and had an amazing sense of humor. We all miss him very much, but he is in such a better place now and is watching over us all. God has a plan for him up in Heaven.
Stay strong; you continue to be in my prayers.
